012; fyi, brothers (bruhs).

not that anyone ever ventures here, but if you do i blog at sleep500 now!

sleep500 - pretty much the entire internet.


this picture represents what you will feel/look like when reading sleep500. it's so awesome/informative/hip that your head will explode! or maybe you will get a little bit of a migraine. but it will be the best migraine ever. it's more an orgasm in your brain really.

010; interesting developments.

ffffff so it turns out i'm not as good at keeping a blog as i thought i would be. which is sad, because i really do have a lot of opinions that i want to yell at everyone until they accept them and start to see me as a new messiah, followed by a steady morphing into my image. hopefully all of this sans a horrible single white female situation. if you fuck my boyfriend in the dark with pointy shoes i will end you, i swear.

i really don't want this to turn into a blog about blogging. it'd be like that kid in year eight when you have to do speeches, and they do a speech on how horrible it is to write speeches. and despite this happening EVERY YEAR they go through to the finals and everyone thinks they are SO COOL. well, hear this, i will not go in this direction! people will think i am SO COOL because of my witty and insightful comments and ability to relate to all! though it would be easier to do a blog on how horrible it is to write blogs. but oh, if there's anything you should know about me it's that i don't take the easy way out, unless we are talking about tidying my room (put everything in the closet) or loading the dishwasher (shove all the cutlery in blade/prongs/whatever first EVEN THOUGH you get a better clean if you put them in the other way). these are my only exceptions. i appear to have gone on a tangent, though a tangent with valuable cleaning tips. maybe that's my secret talent?

stay tuned for the next blog when i show you how to iron around buttons on shirts properly! yeah, it's actually super hard. the amish have the right idea: abolish buttons, bring on the beards. i would really like a beard. people who stroke their chins thoughtfully always seem to look so much more intelligent when bearded. it must be where they keep their second brains.

about the image in this post: i thought maybe you'd like this picture of mickey dolenz playing the bongos. i think we can all agree he is the superior monkee.

008; blog rumours make elliott smith fans cry more than elliott smith songs do.

i've been grossly ill all weekend, and inbetween the sleeping and the vomiting i've come across a rumour online that they're making an elliott smith biopic. while this is brilliant, the second part of the rumour says that zach braff is the actor up for the role of elliott.

lol WHUT.

don't get me wrong, i love zach braff. his comic timing in scrubs is wonderful, as is his everything in garden state, but he is completely and utterly NOT an elliott smith. zach braff is really good at playing... zach braffish characters. i mean, i'm sure he's good at doing other things too, but like jason schwartzman has his max fischer, zach braff has his andrew largeman. at this point i would like to add that i adore jason schwartzman and he has a much broader acting range than just max fischer, but hopefully you see what i'm getting at there.

however, the main reason i have doubt in this rumour is because there is absolutely no physical resemblance between elliott and zach. zach braff looks like john ritter. zach braff looks like that shady guy that went out with anne hathaway. if you're going to find an actor to play elliott smith the most important part is: THE LUMPYNESS. elliott's adorable lumpy face. you can't have a baby-faced elliott. that's blasphemous. heath ledger would've been the best choice for an elliott, but sadly this is hindered by the fact that a) much like elliott, he's dead just now and b) heath ledger was a nick drake fanboy over an elliott fanboy. the only other lumpyfaced person i can think of is gordon ramsy, but that wouldn't real work for several reasons that there's no point even going into. so, it would seem that there's no-one. however, currently on channel one kinky boots is playing (which i saw at the movies when it came out and it's one of those lovely billy elliott heartwarming-to-the-point-of-heartburn pieces of queer cinema that everyone should see) and i remember when i first saw it my brain screamed; ELLIOTT. ELLIOTT, YOU ARE IN A FILM DESPITE YOUR DEADNESS. HOW IS THIS. and it's because of joel edgerton. not only was he in ned kelly with faux elliot #1 heath ledger, but he was in star wars! anyone in star wars is cool! i strongly urge everyone to sign one of those online petitions nominating joel edgerton as elliott smith in the rumoured upcoming film. let us all forget for now that those petitions achieve nothing. let us instead BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF THE INTERNET.

because if you believe in the internet, anything is possible. even dobby/sponge fanfiction. go on, google it. then claw your eyes out and lobotomize yourself.